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Dealing with Anger

7/29/2011

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"In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."  Ephesians 4:26-27

A friend of mine was recently caught in the middle of drama.  We'll call this friend Jim.  Sally told Billy a lie about Jim.    As a result, Billy is now mad at and not really speaking to Jim.  For the moment, this lie has wrecked that relationship. 

Jim and I talked about it for a while and he finally asked, "Is it okay that I'm mad?  Is it wrong for me to be angry about this?"

The answer?  It is perfectly normal for you to be mad, disappointed, hurt, and angry when somebody wrongs you.  It is not a sin.

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The Nudge Method

7/28/2011

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As a youth pastor, I work with a lot of kids and teens.  When I notice a problem or fault or mistake of one of the kids, there are different ways to approach the problem.  You can just tell the kid what they did wrong and how to fix it.  You can just ignore it and let it slide.  One tactic I like is, for lack of a better title, the Nudge Method. 

The Nudge Method is when you ask key questions or say wise things that will help the child to recognize his own mistake and develop a solution by himself.  Last week, a teen came to church very tired and asked for prayer in staying awake during the service.  I started the Nudge Method by asking, "What time did you go to sleep last night?"  He responded that he had no idea.  I asked, "Did you go to sleep at 7 PM?"  He responded no quite emphatically.  "So you have some idea," I said.  He eventually shared that he went to sleep around 1 or 2 in the morning and everyone knew where I was going with that.  That's the Nudge Method.

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Amy Winehouse

7/26/2011

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Amy Winehouse died last Saturday.  For those of you who don't know, Winehouse was a very successful music artist who won five Grammys from one album alone.  She died at the age of 27.

To the best of my knowledge, the cause of death is still uncertain.  Tests have returned inconclusive and we may never know for sure.  However, Winehouse's lifestyle points to a sad possibility.  After reaching a good level of success and fame, she began abusing alcohol and drugs, harming herself, and spending time in rehab.  This has led many to speculate that her recent death was an overdose.

Chris Farley, Brittany Murphy, Heath Ledger, Judy Garland, Billy Mays, Elvis Presley, Marilyn Monroe, and the list goes on and on.  Whether or not Amy Winehouse's death had anything to do with an overdose, there are a frightening amount of celebrity overdoses.

But how?  How does it get to that point?  How does anyone come to the place where they are not only abusing drugs and alcohol, but abusing them to the point of killing themselves?

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Ephesians 1:1-2 Dear Ephesians...

7/25/2011

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I'm going to be going through the book of Ephesians on Mondays.  I'm going to only do a couple of verses at a time and it may look more like a commentary than a devotional.  Hopefully, it will be a mix of both.  This might be more of a study type thing for anyone who reads it than a pure devotional, but if that's what you're looking for then you can find it here on Mondays.

Ephesians 1:1


Paul an apostle


Paul introduces himself here as the author of the letter to the Ephesians.  He also identifies himself here as an apostle of Christ Jesus.  The word apostle comes from the Greek word apostolos which has the meaning of a delegate or envoy or a "sent out one".  The title means that Paul has been sent out and commissioned by Jesus.  Paul can say this because the resurrected Jesus appeared to him on the road to Damascus and called him. 

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Get Both Sides of the Story First

7/22/2011

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Passage: Proverbs 18:17 "The one who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him."

As a pastor, I've had to work out my fair share of disputes and disagreements between people.  I've heard the usual stories.   "Pastor Mark, Sally said BLANK to me."  "Jimmy just hit Bobby and Bobby wasn't doing anything wrong Pastor Mark"  Some have been more serious than that, but whatever the case, the funniest thing happens.  If I'm not careful, whoever talks to me first gets me on their side from the start.  Its funny what hearing only half of the story can convince you of.

My favorite example of this comes from Pastor Mark Driscoll. 
A woman came to his office once and told him that she wanted Pastor Mark's help in dealing with her husband.  The woman was distraught and in tears.  She showed him a small bruise on her forearm and told him that her husband had grabbed her arm, forced her down onto the floor, and yelled at her.

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Do you lack Sense? 

7/21/2011

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Passage: Proverbs 11:12-13  "Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.  Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered."

I caught myself putting someone down behind their back the other day.  It wasn't anything too awful, I didn't reveal anyone's darkest secret.  But I spoke poorly of them and it was entirely unnecessary.  I wasn't talking to that person's mentor or pastor in an effort to lovingly help them.  I was talking to a mutual friend and this acid came out of my mouth.

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If God forgives, why is there a Hell? Why not just let everyone into heaven?

7/19/2011

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Somebody sent me a text message today that asked that question.  It's a great question isn't it?  People don't like the concept of Hell.  Some people think God must be unloving to allow Hell to exist.  To be honest, I kind of don't like the thought of Hell.  A place of everlasting torment is not something that I would wish upon anyone... not even Hitler.  But there it is.  Hell.  If you don't believe in Hell, you can't believe in the Bible and you definitely can't believe in Jesus who speaks about Hell more than any other person in the Bible.  So what do you say about Hell?

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    Mark has been happily married for five years, has a year and a half old daughter, and serves as a youth and children pastor in Oak Park.

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